The plot of The Princess and the Golden Ball – of a young girl forced to honor and submit to her own promises, the admonitions of her father, and of the social mores of the time – reminds me of the woman who raised me. My mother married at the age of 15, at a time when a Catholic girl would not submit to sex before marriage. She became a wife, and soon after, a mother. These were choices she wished she had never made and she rebelled. Perhaps she threw the proverbial frog against the wall, but it never transformed into a handsome prince and she never had the “happily ever after.” What she had was adult responsibilities for which she was ill-prepared and would not have chosen, if she felt that she had different choices to make.
She was a woman trapped by social circumstances, immature and rebelling against her own reality; she didn’t see or care to find the reality of the grown-up world. She didn’t morph into the mother capable of nurturing and responding to the needs of young children. I grew up in the “do as your told, do the right thing, don’t disappoint, don’t ever break a promise,” world. I can also relate to the girl in the tale. The adults who were supposed to nurture me never evolved into a form that looked beyond the obvious to see the potential in those around them. They didn’t teach me practical life skills, and not much about sexuality beyond biology. I took charge of my own metamorphosis.
I have been walking a path of forgiveness for some time. If you have ever walked that path, you know that it is often steep and strewn with boulders which must be climbed over or traveled around. It is however, a path worth taking. It opens the way for other possibilities, and metamorphosis based on choice.
Much like the girl in the tale, I threw the “rules and constraints, and much of the ugliness” against the wall, so to speak. Through introspective self-analysis and just plain hard work, I altered my reality. I focused on the metamorphosis of adult responsibility and the nurturance and care for others. I falter at times, I find myself back in the pond, looking at the innocence of a golden ball and all of the potential not yet realized, but my legs are strong and my heart beats a tempo of determination for the reality I seek. No iron bands needed. Loyalty to oneself is important, just as our young heroine demonstrated.
The image at the top of the post can be found here:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/91892583/the-wrong-one-princess-kissing-frog-art?ref=market kissed frog
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