Shooting the Bull with Grover Leon Smith by Sharon Gilbert


I was fortunate to have one parent who loved to tell a good family story. My father, Grover Leon Smith, would take any opportunity to “shoot the bull” with anyone willing to listen. My brother and I never tired of hearing tales where he used his “common sense,” that thing that a person must have to get by in this world. And no amount of education guarantees you’ll have it. One favorite was one in which he used his ingenuity to move a yard full of huge rolls of barbed wire to another location in record time, earning the respect of a business owner who hired him for his first real job. We learned, from his stories, that creativity can get you out of almost any situation. Plus, you’ll end up with a great story to tell.

In “Family Story Land: History and Identity,” from Telling Stories to Children : a National Storytelling Guide, Dr. Gail Harmon writes, “When we tell stories about our relatives, ancestors, and our children, we send a clear message to the younger generation: you are part of a real life story; an epic tale of joys, trials, tribulations and triumphs.”

I don’t believe family stories are only for the young, however. Sometimes sharing a story about a stupid mistake or a triumph helps us adults expand our compassion or understanding of something we may have ignored before.

A story that Donald Davis tells, called “Listening to the Crack of Dawn,” does that for me. In this story he weaves a tale from a child’s eye view of a favorite aunt. This aunt seems to have no home so she is passed from relative to relative, usually when the adults decide, “It’s time.” And then she’s bundled off with her small suitcase. But, from the children’s point of view, each visit from her is a treasure. She spends unrushed time with them, talking and listening and answering unending questions.

Another storyteller that spins an amazing family tale is an Arizona teller, Clem Condon. His family stories of growing up on a farm in Iowa with three of his brothers capture a place and time and are full of fun and laughter. Beyond that, they introduce us to a mother that we wish we knew or in my case, were!

In, “Black Sheep and Kissing Cousins,” Elizabeth Stone says, “ To make our own meanings out of  our myriad stories is to achieve balance—at once a way to be part of and apart from our families, a way of holding on and letting go.”

I encourage everyone to share your family stories; we all need them!  And if you’re a storyteller, polish up one or two to share with the world. Our family stories are an amazing gift to everyone who hears them.

My favorite book on the subject of polishing those stories is Jack Maguire’s, “The Power of Personal Storytelling: Spinning Tales to Connect with Others.

Below are some resources.  The picture at the top of my father was taken around the time of the barbed wire story.

 Telling Stories to Children : a National Storytelling Guide

Listening for the Crack of Dawn

The Power of Personal Storytelling: Spinning Tales to Connect with Others.

 Black Sheep and Kissing Cousins

 

7 responses to “Shooting the Bull with Grover Leon Smith by Sharon Gilbert”

  1. Roseanne Avatar
    Roseanne

    Sharon – Great job on your article! I’m going to check out some of the books you referenced. Thank you for your heartfelt contribution.

  2. Sharon Gilbert Avatar
    Sharon Gilbert

    Thank you Roseanne!

  3. Clem W. Condon Avatar
    Clem W. Condon

    Very nice Sharon! SMCC Storytelling Institute has created quite a close family. It’s nice to be apart of that.

  4. Ty Nolan Avatar

    Dear Sharon–
    One of the exercises we had to go through when being trained as Family Therapists:
    We were taught all families have a “family legend.” It may or not be “true” in a “court of law”–but it’s what the family tells itself–about itself.
    The Family Legend may be: “We are descended from a famous poet/scholar of Korea. Therefore members of our family are expected to be studious and smart.” Another family may have the legend “We are descended from cattle rustlers and horse thieves! We’re fun and colorful—but you shouldn’t mess with us.”
    After a person has identified his/her own Family Legend, the question is then asked: “Remember the last time you went through a crisis, or look at the crisis you are in now.
    “In what way does your Family Legend influence the crisis?”
    One of the other students in my graduate program was the one whose ancestor was the famous Korean Poet/Scholar. Her crisis was about succeeding in graduate school.
    As a Family Therapist, I would often encounter families where there was a story of “In our family, Women are Strong, but Men are Weak.” You can just imagine the dynamics of that sort of family 🙂 On a serious level—it can be a challenge to “fight” the Family “Story”—and become a strong man…or be comfortable with not being an aggressive and powerful woman.

  5. Sharon Gilbert Avatar
    Sharon Gilbert

    Yes, Ty I’m aware of that dynamic and in my own family we had to choose the family stories that fit us best because they weren’t all so positive. My father as a natural teller usually turned the story to a positive outcome. What richness, Huh!?

  6. Ty Nolan Avatar

    A great blessing, indeed 🙂

  7. Sule Greg Wilson Avatar

    Wonderful were the choices of references: books, web sites, and real life people. I’m inspired, and Ty’s “Family Legend” post ties right into a project I’m working on. Is there published literature on “Family Legends”?

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