Do you know someone whose face “froze” in a grumpy position?
Do you know how your grandparents met?
Do you know what went on when you were being born?
These are three of the 20 questions developed by Marshall P. Duke, PhD, of Emory University. This list, called the “Do you know” scale, measures a child’s familial knowledge. As research items, these 20 questions have two qualities to note; they are designed to be a yes/no answer, and they test knowledge that a child could not have learned firsthand. The child wasn’t present when their grandparents met – so someone had to have told them that in a story. Here we get at the magic of this list. These questions get at the family’s storytelling habits. On a car trip, at a holiday gathering, at the birthday dinners, is the family telling each other their stories? Because when children grow up hearing these stories, and thusly being able to answer these questions, the child is more resilient. They are better able to manage disappointments, have higher self-esteem, and lower anxiety. These good outcomes are the result, writes Duke, of a strong sense of an intergenerational self. The child knows that they belong and where they belong within the family. It is this knowledge that bolters them through life.
That is also why just knowing the answers isn’t enough. Don’t go make 20 flashcards. But go tell 20 stories.
These questions were developed to measure a child’s familial knowledge, but for us storytellers, they make excellent prompts.
“Do you know the names of the schools your father went to?”
Yes.
Lakeland High School, which is where my sister went some 35 years later, and she had their same English teacher!
How rich is that for a story?
I can talk about our small town in Florida, about my parents meeting there, my sister returning there, I can talk about dear Mrs. Harris who my dad thought was old back then!
As we look ahead to the holidays, or look to reconnect after a long quarantine, or just look for new story ideas, take a tour through these 20 questions. Read more here.
1. Do you know how your parents met?
2. Do you know where your mother grew up?
3. Do you know where your father grew up?
4. Do you know where some of your grandparents grew up?
5. Do you know where some of your grandparents met?
6. Do you know where your parents were married?
7. Do you know what went on when you were being born?
8. Do you know the source of your name?
9. Do you know some things about what happened when your brothers or sisters were being born?
10. Do you know which person in your family you look most like?
11. Do you know which person in the family you act most like?
12. Do you know some of the illnesses and injuries that your parents experienced when they were younger?
13. Do you know some of the lessons that your parents learned from good or bad experiences?
14. Do you know some things that happened to your mom or dad when they were in school?
15. Do you know the national background of your family (such as English, German, Russian, etc)?
16. Do you know some of the jobs that your parents had when they were young?
17. Do you know some awards that your parents received when they were young?
18. Do you know the names of the schools that your mom went to?
19. Do you know the names of the schools that your dad went to?
20. Do you know about a relative whose face “froze” in a grumpy position because he or she did not smile enough?
You can learn more about Marshall P. Duke here.
The image at the top is from the Covenant Foundation.
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