I came into this class suspicious of the affirmative coaching process. This is not to say I looked down upon it or thought negatively of it. It is, simply, far from how I usually think of providing or receiving feedback and wanted to see it in action. I can say that the affirmative coaching process has won me over.
Before presenting my first story about my grandparents and their clock, I was concerned it wasn’t going to be very good. I had never told a “personal story” in the way we mean that term in this class. I still wasn’t entirely sure what a personal story was. We’d had two weeks of introduction, sure, so I understood the theory and the concept, but I didn’t yet really know. I generally don’t feel comfortable with a new activity or a new practice until I’ve completed it at least once. There are so many ways to prepare stories, and so many ways to tell them. Was I actually doing it the right way for me? I knew I shouldn’t write it out like a script, but I always do when lecturing. Sure, some of my lecture “notes” are a few bullet points only, but at least there’s something to hold on to and to look at if I feel I am getting lost. I knew well the story I wanted to tell, I just didn’t know if it would come out the way I wanted it to.
Having others go before me, most if not all of whom had already taken storytelling classes, was a huge help for me. I learned I didn’t have to worry about how long the story was; stories had taken between 5 and over 15 minutes to that point. I learned—because hearing and reading the lesson wasn’t enough, I needed to see it—that all the different ways one could tell a story were welcome. And I learned that I didn’t really have to worry about the outcome. All the stories were good and all the comments were positive and supportive. What really struck me was how often a teller was worried about a tic or some other habit, and we not only didn’t mind it, we generally believed it helped the story by lending it authenticity.
So when I went to tell my first story, I was nervous but not worried. I could feel confident that my classmates would be genuinely supportive. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that basic comfort took a weight off of my shoulders. I could relax because even if the story wasn’t perfect, it was still my story. If I forgot some elements, there had been other short stories. If I rambled, there had been other long stories. Not every element of a story has to contribute to the bottom line as long as it adds color. That comfort allowed my story to flow as if I were in a normal social setting, and therefore I did not need any notes. The Affirmative Coaching Process allowed me to just talk. And I’m very good at that.
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