Liz Warren | Storyteller

I was bullied from the time I was in grade school, through high school, and in the military. I was berated by people’s negative words.  I continually heard people tell me “You are stupid,” “You are worthless,” “You are ugly,” and my favorite, “No one will love you.” I heard that from an ex-girlfriend

Dealing with anxiety and depression, I really let those words get to me. In high school, I didn’t get good grades. When I was younger, I didn’t care about my hygiene or appearance, and I didn’t push myself enough to finish a task or goal. As far as relationships, they were few and far between. 

It wasn’t until I started working at the Brown Palace Hotel and Spa in Denver, Colorado, that my life began to change. I applied to be a waiter at the hotel’s breakfast restaurant, and I got an interview with Stacy. Stacy was the head of the front desk staff, not the restaurants. In the interview, she asked me, "What is your favorite quality about yourself." I didn’t know, so I said, “Nothing.”

Something must have clicked inside Stacy’s heart. She took me to the front of the hotel to meet the Bellmen Oran, Matt, David, and the Bell Captain LeRoy. They were all smiling, talking to each other, and having fun working. She asked LeRoy and Matt to talk to me about how much money they made and why. LeRoy and Matt talked about how they loved working there and how they felt good about themselves helping people. It wasn’t about the money; it was about helping. When people know you feel good about yourself, they feel right about you, and that’s when they give you money.

I was flabbergasted by their testimony. Stacy then took me back to her office and told me to write a pros and cons list about myself and come back for a second interview with a different attitude. I went home and wrote the list. I wrote a bunch of cons, but then I started thinking about what LeRoy and Matt said and why Stacy wanted me to write the list. They were telling me I needed to feel better about myself. I started to write a pro for every con, and then I found my list had more pros than cons.

Through the activity of the pros and cons list, I started to think positively about myself. I wasn’t stupid; I started reading full novels before I was in the third grade. I wasn’t worthless; I valued the life I had, even if it wasn’t the life I wanted at the time. I wasn’t ugly; I knew beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I had a girlfriend, so I was good-looking to someone. My favorite thing that I realized about myself is that I have family and friends who love me and always will.

I finished my list and took it back to Stacy the next day. She was astonished over what I had written, and she hired me to be a bellman. Being a bellman was one of my favorite jobs. I made great friends, met great people and had fun. I still heard the negative thoughts from being bullied, but it taught me that being important comes from the positive feeling one thinks about themselves.  Today, I still deal with anxiety and depression, but I rarely let negative thoughts about myself and I am grateful for the family and friends that continue to give me positive affirmations.

In my culture, there is no such thing as mental illness . African-Americans know that our ancestors were too occupied being slaves, being oppressed because the color of their skin, or trying to escape poverty, to deal with mental illness. Anxiety and depression aren’t allowed  unless someone has died, or you don’t have any money. People have the attitude that our ancestors went through much worse than we did. It was always important to feel good about yourself because sometimes a positive attitude was all you had. When the lights went out, there was no food in the house, the car broke down, or you were struggling to find a job, you still had to feel good about yourself. This is why self-respect is sacred and important.

We must feel good about ourselves because we need to make our ancestors, be it African slaves, Vikings, Native Americans, or whomever proud that we represent them today. When I get to a low point, I know I have to try harder to be happy, I have to look at the positives because my ancestors are counting on me to show the world that I represent them in a positive light.