What I’m Really Looking For by Jeffery Miller

    

When I introduce myself at storytelling events, I'm regularly asked when I started telling stories.  Inevitably, I answer something like, "As long as I can remember."  I grew up the third of three boys in a household that didn't really talk much.  Well, we'd talk, but not about anything that mattered.  It was mostly cut-downs and hurtful "humor.”  I use the word "humor" because it was funny, just not to the person that it was about.  I can thank my brothers for becoming quick, sarcastic, sharp-witted . . . and hurtful.  Even today, it's a skill that still gets utilized.  I'm glad I have it when I need it.  I hate that I use it when I do.  When I was finally able to take a step back, I saw that what I really learned was that words, spoken words, words that I can speak, can ignite an array of feelings and emotions.

With not a small amount of resistance, I enrolled in speech classes in high school and, later, college.  Since then, I’ve presented for rooms of engineers with Q&As, taught various classes, and even performed improv.  In the less formal arena, I tell funny anecdotes, go on rants, and make up stories on the fly for kids that include any animal they can name.

As I struggled to find stories to add to my repertoire, reading and reading and reading, I discovered that I wasn’t finding what I was searching for.  The stories I read were interesting, but almost none of them resonated with me.  They were within my ability, so I could tell any of them if I wanted to.  The problem was that I didn’t want to. 

Finally, I realized that I didn’t really know what it was that I was actually looking for.  I never really understood why I picked the stories that I had.  To me, they were just … interesting.  They felt right and that was all.  Of course, I was wrong.  That wasn’t all.  This journey has finally helped me to see what’s important to me as a teller.  

The stories that I want to tell are the stories that make people feel something.  I want to tell stories that have characters that my listeners can relate to.  They have characters that come alive, that people actually care about.  In this realm, it’s not enough for me to just be entertaining.  If I can make people feel something, something deep, well, then I've really taken them somewhere.  Those are the stories that I'm looking for.

4 responses to “What I’m Really Looking For by Jeffery Miller”

  1. Nancy Wolter Avatar
    Nancy Wolter

    Jeffery,what an important insight. I love your honesty and openness, and reminder of how powerful our stories and words can be, especially if first the stories resonate deeply with us. That’s always the first step in finding what to tell. Thanks for sharing this.

  2. Phyllis Ralley Avatar
    Phyllis Ralley

    Keep looking Jeffery. You are already filled with stories that will make people feel something.

  3. Sharon Winters Avatar
    Sharon Winters

    It’s all about emotions. You are exactly right.

  4. Pat O'Shea Avatar
    Pat O’Shea

    Jeffery,
    I can certainly relate to your experience. Although I believe I know what I’m looking for, it’s difficult to find stories that correspond. Thanks for sharing in such an articulate way.

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